This last week we had the opportunity to go to the lake.  Anyone that knows me understands why this is a big deal for me. See, I can't swim.....like at all..... not even to save myself....or my children. We would all literally drown if I was left to save us.  I've also spent years convincing myself that there are all sorts of giant sea creatures lurking down in the depths waiting till I put my pasty white legs in there to snatch them up.

Pretty much sums up my childhood thoughts

Swimming always made me nervous when I was little, I even took swimming lessons one summer but it only made my fear and dislike for it stronger. As I got older it was easier to put it off and then eventually avoid it all together.
I never really thought I was missing out on an important life skill or considered it a problem until the beginning of this summer. Two significant things happened that made it very clear to me that it was indeed a problem and I was no longer going to be able to avoid the dreaded water!.  
First, my best friend Amy bought my kids a summer pass to the outdoor pool in town where all my children's friends hang out and second, I started dating someone that loves the water, boats, wakeboarding, all of it ...........a lot.  Both of these things mean that I have spent more time near, on, or in more water then I have in the past 20 years. Its gotten so ridiculous I even bought a swim suit (something I have successfully gotten away with not having for years!!)

The first time we went to the lake I fully anticipated my children being scared and timid. They had never been on a boat or gone swimming in a lake. It caught me completely off guard when not only did two of them actually get in the water but all three of them went for a ride in the tube.  Same thing happened at the pool, I was ready for all of them to be nervous to get in but they all got right in and loved every minute.


The kiddos at the pool with their friends

This leads me to this week at the lake and the very sweet Penny Rae.  Both Jamin and Charlie really took to the water. As soon as we stopped the boat they both got right in.  Penny on the other hand did NOT want to get in.  She said the word scared more times then I could count.  She watched both kids have a turn in the water, swimming and splashing around, completely enjoying themselves.  I could see she clearly wanted to get in on all the fun....but she was just so scared.  We finally got her to sit on the end of the boat, then to put her feet in, and when she finally got all the way in she hung onto the boat for dear life, saying "I'm scared" another dozen times.  When she finally let go this is the face we were blessed with.......

Seriously, look at that face! It doesn't get any sweeter then that. She was so proud of herself, I loved watching her gain her confidence and trust in it and to see her enjoy it so much.
 When we got back Benjamin and Charlie decided jumping in and swimming around would be a ton of fun. Again I watched Penny stand on the side as she said "but I'm just so scared" over and over again. After a lot of talking, whining, and crying she finally got up enough courage to make the jump.

And she LOVED every minute of it!! There was no going back after that, it was as if she had been set free.


So much of Penny's day on the lake represents my life. How many times have I sat on the sidelines of life saying "I'm scared".  When Penny was saying she was scared there were times we gave her space, times we comforted and encouraged and then other times we pushed when we knew she could handle it.  How many times has God sat on the sidelines with me giving me enough space to figure things out, or comforted me and encouraged me when I was scared? How many times has He pushed when that was exactly what I needed?  Every new step, every new experience I find myself standing on the sidelines saying "God I'm scared, I'm scared" and then He very patiently walks me through it. I can picture Him in the water saying "I'm right here Laura, I've got this, you're safe, give me your hand, jump in the water....trust ME." 

I've found myself in another life transition, where one season of life is ending and a new one is beginning. Where there are new schools, a new home, and new friends.  Old jobs are ending and new ones have to be found. Where decisions have to be made on how to follow dreams and passions while raising three kids. New ways of living and loving are being learned and established and while all of it is wonderful and exciting I still find myself on the sidelines saying "God I am just so terribly scared" over and over again. My list of what-ifs is a mile long.........what if I can't find a job, what if I fail, what if my children have a hard time, what if it breaks my heart, what if, what if.........

"I'm right here Laura, I've got this, you're safe, give me your hand, jump in the water....trust ME." 

Will I trust Him when He reaches out His hand and asks me to take the next step or will I stand inside the boat watching all the beauty, fun and life being lived without me because I'm too scared? Will I trust Him and have faith in the Lord's promises to me?  The good and glorious news is I love an amazing God that wants good things for His children who He loves unconditionally.  I can fully trust that while it wont be easy and sometimes it will be overwhelmingly hard He has good things in store.  I can actively choose to remember the promises of God in His word and have the courage to step out and act in faith.

Psalms 40:5
Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Lord, I pray that my fear of the water will not keep me from stepping outside of the boat and living the life You have planned for me. Walk closely God with us as we stand up and face our fears knowing You are right there holding our hand and guiding our lives. Take my life Lord and use it fully for Your glory.  Help me to trust that You want me just as I am and have a plan to use me in Your kingdom! Thank you for pursuing me and for Your gracious patience. To You be all the honor and glory! Amen