STRETCH MARKS

It's Sunday morning and I'm in my room getting dressed and Charlie is standing right next to me.  She is telling me a very animated story in her over the top, race thru life, I need you to hear everything I have to say this very minute, sort of way.  

All of a sudden she stops... stares... points and then asks "what's that?". 

 To my horror, I realize she is pointing right at the stretch marks on my side.....my loathed, must always be hidden stretch marks!  Now, I have to be honest, inwardly every insecurity in me is going off and I'm fighting every urge to simply cover them up, chuck a pillow at her and tell her to take her nosey self into the other room and mind her own blasted business!!  However, I'm proud to say my reaction was much more grown up then that.

I'm pulled back to reality by hearing Charlie say that maybe the marks were from her fingernails.  That maybe when she was inside of my belly she was trying to scratch her way out....to which I got a good laugh at!
It was clear though, she was going to need a more clear explanation.

I sat her down and explained to her that the first time I was pregnant with Benjamin the stretch marks started and then every time I was pregnant after that they grew a little bigger.  That God made our skin to stretch so that we would be able to carry babies inside of us and sometimes that causes marks on our skin.  I told her it was an amazing thing that God thought to make our skin so stretchy.  To which she replied..."yeah, cause your belly got HUGE!"  (seriously, this girl!!)

She said the sweetest thing next that made me pause and really consider my own insecurities with my stretch marks.

 She said "I can't wait till I grow up and have stretch marks, that means I'll have lots of awesome babies too." 

To me they meant embarrassment, imperfection, ugly, shame. 

 To Charlie they meant life. 

It's had me thinking all week.  At what age do we decide what the standard of perfection and beauty is? At what age do we decide what is ugly and shameful?

I opened up my Facebook this morning and it hit me like it does every morning.  Women, some of the most amazing, beautiful, smart, brilliant women have posted their daily "here is how you lose ten pounds fast" article, or "if you take this supplement all your wobbly bits and dimples will magically disappear" article.  There is the "daily work outs that promise if you do them everyday for 4 hours a day you'll have the perfect body" articles,  followed by pictures of women that are not even close to the norm.  It's frustrating and breaks my heart and has me wondering yet again........

"at what age do we learn that this is the standard of perfection?!"

Now, please hear me clearly....being healthy is awesome, putting energy and effort into yourself is awesome, eating healthy is awesome, self improvement and having more energy and all those good things are awesome and I am in no way judging you or saying you are wrong for posting these things. They are good, healthy....awesome :)

You know what isn't awesome?  When 90% of the things posted by women and for women on Facebook are about how we look....or should look.  When we post pictures of our own version of perfection when it isn't even close to reality.  When we body shame and guilt beautiful women into feeling horrible simply because they aren't our idea of perfection.  When beautiful, life giving stretch marks are talked about in a shaming way.  When weight, whether you are too skinny or too large is used to shame women.  When so much empthasis is put on our appearance and we forget that we are SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

We are strong minded, powerful, smart, influential, savvy, brave, gifted, hard working, tender hearted, spirited, passionate, successful and beautiful in so many different ways that have nothing to do with our looks.  We need to stop dumbing ourselves down and have a little respect for the amazing gifts and qualities that go way beyond our looks.

We need to stop looking at other women, at each other, and comparing and judging ourselves by the things someone else has, by the things God has blessed them with. We need to start celebrating each other and our differences.  We need to encourage, lift up, speak life giving words to each other.

Being a women can sometimes be hard, heavy and down right heart breaking without having each other constantly pointing out our flaws.  

So, let me tell you my own truth.....I have stretch marks and they are beautiful!

Red hair from now on is going to be beautiful.  Big is beautiful, skinny is beautiful, healthy is beautiful.  White skin, dark skin, and every other color of skin is beautiful.  Using your brain and learning is beautiful.  Having conviction, passion and standing for things beyond our looks, like abuse, social issues and injustice is beautiful.  Not comparing or judging, but looking at someone and seeing all the things God has blessed them with....is beautiful!  Speaking with kindness and encouragement is beautiful.  Loving each other.....flaws and all, is simply beautiful!

God has crafted you with His incredible creativity and has pieced you together in this awesome, beautiful way that brings glory to Him and makes His heart sing.

 You were made for Him and He delights in you, just as you are.

Please, I beg you, don't take way from that because you don't look like the version next to you.  Let's celebrate the unique individuality He has made us with.  In His eyes, whether we are talking about our physical looks or our inner being and soul, you have been made perfect.  He has formed you exactly as He wants you, perfect in His sight and He has made us to do so much more than beat ourselves up and waste so much time worrying about our looks.

He has made you for so much more than that, we have work to do friends....life to live.....lets stop waisting our time!

  This is my new idea of perfection. 

   This is what I will be striving for. 

     This is what I will teach my daughters.

The Girls